Depression & Creativity

Please note this blog post is not really about Bonfirecherry as such. In this post, I talk about my views/experience with depression and how I deal with it, part of it being creative which does relate to Bonfirecherry in a small way that you find out below.

This will be a personal post instead of a business one, with that I will be talking about things that might not be suitable for everyone so please be warned if you want to continue below.

 

I confess I don’t often get depressed that often, but due to recent events with the death of the main singer of Linkin park last week it did get me down and upset one morning thinking about something that happened in my life a few years ago that still gets in my mind today. Since middle school I made friends with one of my best friends, we were like Del Boy & Rodney from Only Fools and Horses.

He was my best friend up to an event, where I felt like he stabbed me in the back and which broke me inside not knowing what to think. Life just continued for me til a few years later, when I found out the news about what he had done something that, left me broken and not knowing what to think again with me having good and bad memories of him that I still think of time to time now.

I am thankful during that time I developed some friendships with people who I am still friends with now, the first time my friend left me heartbroken I did feel alone as he was my only good friend I had during school that one person who I could always chat to. Now I do still have the friends that I highly respect & get a close relationship but I do still have a fear of being alone again even though it won’t happen.

How I dealt with the heart break was the first time was drawing and focus on my art work (was in the first year at college at time) as I’ve always been into art since late middle school, art was (still is) a good method of getting out what I’ve got on my mind onto something so I am not constantly thinking about the things that were troubling me.  

Around the time of finishing school & starting college, I have a developed a side of me that distracted me from being depressed and was a feminine side of me that I still have now. I briefly will talk about this as it relates to my depression but I don’t want to say too much as I’m still wondering why I’m like this now among other reasons. Alongside the creative side of me, this feminine side of me seems like a switch in my mind that goes on when I get some bad stuff going in my life or in my mind that helps me get my mind of it, downside of it is that it’s been a part of me for so long that I am wondering if that idea to help me stop being depressed (as mention at the start I rarely do, I am always the sort of person to smile, laugh and just be weird to make people smile when they are down etc) is somehow a side of me that I just always had and this was just a way of getting it out I just don’t know but anyway that’s a conversation for another time.

Back to talking about art, during college I was studying graphic design and I did get depressed a few times due to rejection from girls I tried to get with but I just thought well I am young and there is always going to be someone for me (still waiting) for I moaned for a while and went back to focusing on my graphic work. Around this time, Bonfirecherry was a fictional t-shirt business as part of my final major project in my course which I put so much work and attention into (hence why it’s still a part of my life now), that all the print work I was doing at the time eg printing t-shirts helped me distract me from anything bad that was happening.

I am still like that now thinking about, if I get myself down due to any reason I either draw, carve or print and I am normally alright after that.

I think what this post is mainly saying, as I am a creative person whenever I do get upset I find something creative to do to make me happy again. Of course, that isn’t going to work for everyone you just need to think about what things make you happy eg cooking, think of doing that when you are down and if that doesn’t help, talk to someone as that honestly always helps be it someone from your family, a friend or a work college.

I think that’s all I can think of when it comes to this subject, just wanted to get my experience on this to see if that helps someone else.

For Help and Advice on Mental Health there is

Young Minds

Calm

Time To Change

The Samaritans

 

Thanks for reading

PS. If you was wondering about the picture I have used for this blog, It's one I took of myself a few years ago and it's how I feel like when I'm depressed and arguing with myself etc

Matthew

 


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